“Are you shooting or snorting it?”

“That is TMI”

“TMI? We moved way past TMI when I made you a video with a vibrator I named after you.”

“Ha!”

Welcome to THIS IS LIFE BABY. A place where you will learn more than you ever cared to know about my history with some of the worst boyfriends/friends with benefits/liars/cons/musicians/male strippers/and just general all around losers who I let into my life.

Sometimes I wonder why I threw away what could have been a fabulous and amusing life of my own creation to chase boys. But most of the time I was too busy chasing them to care. Maybe it was just easier to follow someone else’s dream and throw all that I am into someone else than to have to deal with myself. I don’t know. What I DO know is I wasted a tremendous amount of time on rock and roll stars, wanna-be rock and roll stars, drug dealers, male strippers and just about any other boy whose persona screams RED FLAG within five minutes of meeting them. I wasn’t naive enough to not see the writing on the wall, I just always felt it didn’t pertain to me and chose to chase the glamour and excitement instead of having to face something true and real.

It seems certain boys came into my life for different reasons; it’s like I needed them for certain “phases” though I never seemed to learn any particular lessons. In some cases people thought I was the one who deliberately set out to use boys…I see how someone could draw that conclusion if they didn’t really know me. Anyone who saw things that way did not know me at all. OK, well maybe they do. I DO tend to absorb all I can get from a boy, but it is more about getting excitement and the rush of fame, etc than it ever was about money. And then it ends. I hate endings.

I have the worst luck in the world with boys. A lot of it has been my fault but most of it was theirs. Sometimes I have been “the one” but most of the time I am “the one before the one” and sometimes during “the one”.  I actually have the worst luck in general- example, I’ve probably purchased about a thousand lottery tickets in my life and have never even won a dollar. What are the odds of that? The odds of that are supposed to be impossible. Go figure…maybe I shouldn’t believe in luck. Maybe I am getting paid back for some past life evil because in THIS life things never go my way. The good news is I still have a sense of humor about it all and haven’t broken from it.

I don’t know if its my attraction to bad boys or if I just attract the bad boys or if there is more to it than that. Its like I actively seek out the bad seeds so that I can control how the story ends and not have to really let myself become vulnerable by actually having something REAL! (oh the horror!). Maybe all the angst, drama and scandal is a cover for not having to get my real feelings tied into it? The whole “girl behind the mask” thing a certain bad boy pointed out to me many years ago. He said never once did he feel I was “really there” and that I wear many masks so I don’t have to let anyone in. Well, we all know I’ve never let the rightone in. You know though, I sort of like what he said…his idea that I intentionally put myself in these situations…it makes me not feel so bad about how many times I have cried, how many times I’ve had my heart and dreams shattered into a million pieces.

In this blog I will tell you some random cautionary tales about bad boys, and some of the other tales with star reoccurring scenarios with the same bad boys. Remember how I just said I hate endings? Well, some of these boys are STILL in the picture. But more on all of that later.

The tales you will read here are 100% true- besides the names that have been changed to protect the not so innocent.

Welcome to THIS IS LIFE BABY….Cautionary Tales.